The Gift that Keeps Giving

We started Challenge 9, by affirming our Heavenly Father is a God of unending and unlimited abundance. He is not the least bit stingy but is a God of unlimited generosity. His gift of Jesus confirms this, and Jesus, in a demonstration of incomprehensible generosity, gave his life for us. In Part B we considered the implications of God’s sacrificial love for disciples of Jesus. We are called to live lives characterized by overflowing generosity. For some, it starts with tithing or a commitment to becoming more generous because love always gives and gives sacrificially. In Part C we considered some of the economic factors that come into play when we pray, “May your Kingdom come…. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.” Disciples play a fiduciary role in Kingdom economics. 

We conclude Challenge 9, Overflowing Generosity, by considering the third petition in the Lord’s Prayer: “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt 6:12). Some may question whether this topic belongs in a discussion focused on generosity. We must recognize the second syllable in the word “for-give-ness”. Forgiveness is a gift which cannot be earned or purchased. It can only be received or given as an undeserved gift. To forgive someone may be the ultimate expression of overflowing generosity. Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving. 

Jesus gave his life so we could be forgiven. The cross continues to be the greatest and most costly gift ever given. That gift opened the door to receiving many other gifts from God, including the gift of the Holy Spirit. I believe forgiveness is the most profound demonstration of love because forgiveness is always undeserved for the recipient and costly for the giver. No formula can create forgiveness in a test tube or in a laboratory. Forgiveness is unique, life-giving, priceless, and a key component of the limitless generosity that characterizes Kingdom living.

Inexcusable, Unjust, and Outrageous

Forgiveness is only needed when the actions of another person are inexcusable. If their actions are excusable, then we merely excuse them. Neither is forgiveness overlooking, rationalizing, ignoring, or denying the offense. If you treat forgiveness as trivial, like it is no big deal, then you’re in danger of mocking what is holy and dear to God. Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation but is not reconciliation. The person forgiving another person may not seek reconciliation and the person being forgiven may not seek your forgiveness or recognize their actions were inexcusable. Forgiveness originates in the offended or wounded party.

Forgiveness is a shocking expression of sacrificial love. To forgive is to pardon, to choose not to punish an offense that is inexcusable. When someone sins against you and wounds you deeply, justice demands that they be punished or penalized. They owe you something; they are in debt to you. When you forgive them, you cancel the debt they owe you, meaning you pay their debt by forgiving them. They no longer owe you anything. They committed the crime but you, the victim, pay their fine or do their time. 

The innocent party pays the price for the guilty party’s actions, a sacrificial demonstration of overflowing generosity. Jesus was the innocent party, but he intentionally paid the price for our sins on the cross. His self-giving and sacrificial gift of love paid our debt and purchased our forgiveness. His sacrifice was and is the only way to be forgiven by God. The righteous one pays the penalty for the unrighteous. We were set free when he paid our penalty with his blood.

The Apostle Paul wrote: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph 4:31-32) And just before writing these verses, Paul had told the Ephesian disciples, “Do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit” (v 30). To fail to obey the command to forgive grieves the Holy Spirit (Challenge 2, Part C). When we grieve the Holy Spirit by refusing to forgive others, it eventually and inevitably leads to “bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander” (v 31) by the wounded party. Failure to forgive is like a toxic poison that slowly and painfully destroys our lives. We hold on to an offense instead of offering overflowing generosity and sacrificial love. No wonder the Spirit grieves when we refuse to forgive others.

Forgiving someone who has hurt us deeply is probably the most difficult assignment God gives us. Offering forgiveness is often much more difficult than giving a tithe of your income to God. We naturally want the guilty person to suffer the same pain they caused us to suffer. Jesus’ call to forgive them may feel heavy and unfair, like a cross you must drag everywhere you go until you forgive them. Not only does it feel burdensome, but forgiving the inexcusable also seems unfair and unjust.

The innocent victim pays the debt the guilty party incurred by their transgression. It may take months or even years to completely forgive their terrible debt. Forgiveness, like going all-in for Jesus, may be both an event and a continuing process. You forgive someone at a particular time (an event), but then realize you still resent them and want them to suffer like you have (a process). You realize you haven’t completely forgiven them and must repeat it again and again, but always at a deeper level until the process is completed.

I remember my struggle to forgive a particular person who I believed had betrayed me. I was hurt and angry and could not completely forgive this person for months and then years. After nearly five years, I finally forgave him. God confirmed that I had fully forgiven him when it dawned on me that I was sincerely asking God to bless him and cause him to flourish. My sense of heaviness and bitterness lifted in that holy moment and was replaced by a deep sense of freedom, joy and peace. 

We must understand that forgiving the offenses that caused us so much pain does not mean we have forgotten the offenses. The memories of what happened may continue as long as we live. But after they have been forgiven (but not forgotten), the memories no longer trigger the feelings that originally accompanied the offenses. The feelings of indignation, outrage, anger, pain, and desire for revenge no longer accompany the memories. This confirms forgiveness has been completed.

Disciples are uniquely equipped to forgive others. We incurred a debt through our sin and rebellion that we could never pay. We were doomed, helpless, and stuck in sin. But Jesus with overflowing generosity, fully paid our debt with his blood on a Roman cross. It cost us nothing, but it cost him everything. Now he asks us to forgive those who have hurt us. Because we received such undeserved and costly forgiveness, we can give it to others. Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving. Secondly, we know that God always empowers us to do whatever he asks us to do through the presence and power of the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Forgiving some wrongs is impossible without God’s help because the hurt we have experienced is so deep. But because we have received forgiveness from God that others have not experienced, and because the Spirit lives in us and helps us, we can forgive what may seem unforgiveable. Once received, forgiveness must be shared just like any other gift we receive from God. Forgiving another is an expression of overflowing generosity.

Those who do not follow Jesus may regard our desire to forgive the unforgiveable to be outrageous and shocking. But for those who seek to live by Kingdom standards, forgiveness is the norm, not the exception. The King himself, encourages us to pray, “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt 6:12). Forgiving others is the new normal for apprentices of Jesus in Kingdom living. If we fail to forgive others, we are guilty of hypocrisy, which we know is not permitted in the Kingdom. Jesus spoke to this very issue in his Parable of the Unmerciful Servant: 

²¹ Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” ²² “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! 

²³ “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. ²⁴ In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. ²⁵ He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. ²⁶ “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ ²⁷ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. ²⁸ “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. ²⁹ “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. ³⁰ But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. ³¹ “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. ³² Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. ³⁵ “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Matthew 18:21-35

The story of the unmerciful servant is a warning to each of us. The truth is they don’t deserve our gift of canceling their enormous debt. We forgive them not because they deserve forgiveness, but because we have been forgiven and know we did not deserve it. Receiving forgiveness and then refusing to extend it to others is hypocrisy.

The harshness of Jesus’ words could make one think that failure to forgive others is the unforgivable sin, but I do not think that is the case. If we confess we will be forgiven. However, it still is a sin. In asking for forgiveness, we must never seek to justify our unforgiving attitudes and actions. To refuse to forgive others is pharisaical. The Pharisees were generous in extending mercy to themselves while quick to condemn the sins of others. Such hypocrisy is not tolerated in the Kingdom of God and is incompatible with our public confession that Jesus is our Lord and Savior. 

Forgiveness is a sacrificial gift of love and can accurately be described as outrageous. Our  outrageous gift from God is life-transforming. Forgiven and transformed disciples are motivated and equipped with the Spirit to forgive others. For two thousand years this process has been repeated again and again. Forgiveness is the gift of love that keeps on giving, the fullest expression of God’s overflowing generosity. 

THINKING IT THROUGH

…Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. 1 Peter 2:21

THE TRUTH: God demonstrated his overflowing love and generosity by giving us his son and his son giving his life. 

YOUR CHALLENGE: Disciples respond by giving generously and joyfully. 

The Scriptures, questions, and notes are for group discussion and personal reflection. Our goal is character transformation which requires sustained effort and growing faith. The questions can help you understand this challenge at a deeper level. We encourage you to focus on those questions that you find most interesting or helpful. This is not a test, but a tool to help you work the challenges.

Related Scriptures

Colossians 3:13 ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Luke 23:34 [Jesus words as he was dying on the cross.] ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them….”

Psalm 32:1 ¹ Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, 
whose sin is put out of sight!

Psalm 86:5 ⁵ O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, 
so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.

Proverbs 17:9 ⁹ Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, 
but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Mark 11:25 ²⁵ But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

Luke 6:37 ³⁷ Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.

Questions

You are encouraged to use these questions for group discussion or personal reflection. Respond to the questions that are most relevant or interesting to you (I urge you to write your responses in a journal or notebook).

1. Have you ever hurt another person, deeply regretted it, and then asked that person to forgive you? Were you forgiven?

2. Prior to beginning Challenge 9, “Overflowing Generosity,” did you associate forgiveness with generosity? Is it helpful or not for you to think of forgiveness as a gift to be shared with others?

3. In pastoral counseling, I repeatedly found that many people carry deep wounds associated with childhood traumas. Do you have childhood wounds that have never been healed and if you do, have you forgiven those who caused you so much pain? 

4. Can we love another person if we have not forgiven them?

5. Should a victim of a violent crime, seeking to forgive the perpetrator, testify against the defendant in the trial that follows? 

6. The narrative stated that forgiveness was not forgetting the offense. Why do you agree or disagree? Why does it matter?

7. The narrative also claimed that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Explain why this is true or biblical reasons that cause you to disagree.

8. The narrative did not address forgiving yourself. How would you advise a person that confided to you that they could not forgive themself? 

9. When you have forgiven a person who has hurt you, is it necessary to tell the person who offended you that they are forgiven?

10. Who suffers the most: the victim who refuses to forgive or the offender who is not forgiven? 

A REFLECTION ON FORGIVENESS

This is a “Morning Reflection,” written by Glenn MacDonald on 8/6/2020. 
You can access all of his reflections at glennsreflections.com.

Hugging the Cactus

Robert Downey, Jr.s life came apart at the seams about twenty years ago. His once-promising acting career was derailed by his drug addictions. After a few years in prison he had been virtually blackballed in the entertainment world centered in Hollywood. 

Directors were understandably wary of Downey because of his track record of failing to show up for work. They required the then penniless ex-con to purchase exorbitant insurance to cover their expenses if he failed to show up. 

Mel Gibson was the first guy to give Robert Downey, Jr. another chance by purchasing the insurance on his behalf. 

Gibson was at the height of his popularity. He had a great family and was a person of influence in Hollywood. Yet much to everyone’s surprise, he was the next guy to shipwreck his career and sabotage his personal relationships. Gibson’s alcohol-fueled, racially charged outbursts quickly landed him in Hollywood’s version of Outer Mongolia.

Then in 2008 Downey received a special “comeback” award. His peers chose to honor him in this way. Robert Downey, Jr. surprised everyone by asking that Mel Gibson be the presenter of this special award. 

Below are words that Robert Downey, Jr. said from the platform after Gibson had presented him with the award: 

Actually, I asked Mel to present this award to me for a reason, because when I couldn't get sober, he told me not to give up hope, and he urged me to find my faith it didn't have to be his or anyone else's, as long as it was rooted in forgiveness.

And I couldn't get hired, so he cast me in the lead of a movie that was actually developed for him. And he kept a roof over my head, and he kept food on the table.

And most importantly, he said that if I accepted responsibility for my wrongdoings, and if I embraced that part of my soul that was ugly - "hugging the cactus," he calls it - he said that if I hugged the cactus long enough, I'd become a man of some humility and that my life would take on a new meaning.

And I did. And it worked. All he asked in return was that someday I help the next guy in some small way.

It's reasonable to assume that at the time he didn't imagine the next guy would be him. Or that someday was tonight.

So anyway, on this special occasion... I humbly ask that you join me - unless you are completely without sin (in which case you picked the wrong industry) - in forgiving my friend his trespasses, offering him the same clean slate you have [offered to] me, and allowing him to continue his great and ongoing contribution to our collective art without shame.

He's hugged the cactus long enough.

When a Pharisee looked disapprovingly at a prostitute who was washing Jesus' feet with her tears, drying them with her unbound hair, Jesus said to the Pharisee: "She's been forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. But if the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal." (Luke 7:47, The Message)

Those who have received much grace have the capacity to become givers of much grace. And anyone who can learn to love like that will be stronger than Iron Man.

Completing the Challenge

1. UNDERSTAND.

Prayerfully process (think, read, discuss, question, write) until you understand the most important truth Jesus is teaching you in Challenge 9. 

Reread “THE TRUTH” and “THE CHALLENGE” statements that are printed below the “THINKING IT THROUGH” section header. It may also be helpful to read the related scriptures, and what you have already written in your journal when reading and processing parts A through C of this challenge. As always, you may consult a mentor, other disciples or a study partner, or use other resources. But do not move on to #2 (BELIEVE) until you have articulated the chief truth revealed to you in this challenge by completing this sentence, 

“The chief truth revealed in this challenge is ....”

2. BELIEVE.

Embracing the truth requires you to “change your mind” by ceasing to believe one thing (a lie) in order to believe the truth. To follow Jesus means you must continually repent (literally: “change your mind”—your mental map of reality) to personally embrace the truth he embodied and taught. The goal is to internalize the truth in your heart until it becomes like your DNA—what makes you, you.

Write the thing you no longer believe (the lie) by completing this sentence,
“I no longer believe ....”

Rewrite the new truth you now believe (from “1. UNDERSTAND.” above) by completing this sentence, 
“I now believe ….”

3. DO.

Jesus expects the truth you now believe to change the way you live. What you believe determines what you do and how you live. Commit to do something differently (be specific) because of your new and/or deepening faith. Write it by finishing this sentence,
“I believe Jesus is leading me to ....”  

Then pray, asking the Lord to help you do whatever you have determined he is asking you to do.

4. SHARE.

Finally, tell a mentor or study partner the specifics of how you have worked this challenge (the sentences you have written) and ask for their feedback.

Note: It is best to write your statements at the end of each challenge in your journal/notebook. If you get stuck on this last exercise, skip it for the time being, and complete it at a later date. As you make progress on the Jesus Way, you may want to modify and improve these concluding statements. Feel free to do so at any time. Whenever you receive new insights, it may change what you have previously written. Your journal/notebook is intended to document your growing faith; it will become a useful tool to help you, and also to mentor others.

Copyright © 2024 Don Waite

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