You've Got a Friend 

Glenn McDonald told the story about two well-known songs in one of his Morning Reflections, (posted May 21, 2021, (glennsreflections.com). The first song, "Fire and Rain," was written and sung by James Taylor in 1970 as he was battling depression and addictions to alcohol and heroin. While recording his first album in London, parents of his childhood friend Suzanne Schnerr committed her to a mental health facility. Upon her release, she killed herself by throwing herself in front of a train. 

Six months later, Taylor was shocked when he learned of the tragedy. He too had spent nine months in a similar facility. The song "Fire and Rain" expressed his anguish. 

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain.
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. 

Taylor worked with another young musician, Carole King, who accompanied Taylor on the piano while recording the song. Struck by the poignancy of the lyrics, she composed another song as her response to Taylor’s lament. She called it, "You’ve Got a Friend."

When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand,
and nothing, oh, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there.
To brighten up even your darkest night.
You just call out my name, and you know, wherever I am,
I’ll come running, oh yeah, baby, to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall – all you’ve got to do is call –
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, you’ve got a friend. 

McDonald went on to reflect on friendship by reminding his readers that the Bible says “It is not good for people to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We are not created “to go through life flying solo.” We need friends. 

Sociologists have identified at least two types of friendships. There are “Friends of the Road” – those who are part of our life journeys for a season, perhaps a childhood friend, a neighbor, a military buddy, a teammate, or a colleague. Such friends enter and enrich our lives a few months or several years, and then we each go our separate ways. 

The second classification is “Friends of the Heart.” They are lasting friends that never leave us, even when we live in different times zones or on different continents – and even if we have not seen each other in years. But when we do see each other again, friends of the heart immediately resume their relationship as if they had never been separated by time or geography. 

We need both types of friendships. 

James Taylor was right; life can feel unbearable when we cannot find a friend. True friends are life-enhancing gifts from God. All friendships should be cherished and celebrated. 

Another Kind of Friend 

The Bible introduces us to a third category of friendship, a friendship with God. Yet there are only two people in the Old Testament who are called friends with God: Abraham and Moses. And since Abraham and Moses could be the two most important people in the entire OT, it would be easy to conclude friendship with God is reserved only for spiritual giants. Consequently, it would be presumptuous for ordinary persons, like us, to claim “God is my friend.” 

Through Jesus, however, what seems impossible becomes possible. The evening before his crucifixion, Jesus spoke about many things with his disciples, including this unexpected truth: 

¹⁵ I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.
John 15:15 

Jesus considered his disciples to be his personal “friends.” Consequently, any disciple can legitimately say, “Jesus is a friend of mine.” This is a profound truth, not religious mumbo jumbo nor a sign of insanity. To fully appreciate the significance of Jesus’ statement, we need to consider its original context. Everything recorded in John chapters 13 to 17 took place on Thursday evening, hours before Jesus’ death. He had instituted the last supper, washed his disciples’ feet, and indicated one of them would betray him. In this intimate setting, Jesus shared his heart with his closest friends. 

Jesus taught them using the analogy of a vine and the branches. Jesus is the grapevine; his disciples are the branches. The vine and the branches are organically connected. Jesus urges his disciples to “Remain [abide] in me, and I will remain [abide] in you” (v. 4). A few verses later, Jesus said, “But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything … and it will be granted” (v. 7). Just as the branches must remain connected to the vine to receive nutrients, so disciples must remain connected to Jesus to receive spiritual nutrition. We must listen and internalize his teaching (“my words remain in you”). Heart-to-heart communication is intimacy and describes how disciples abide in Jesus. We share life together, confiding in one another. This is an accurate picture of the relationships between Jesus and his disciples, life-giving, fruit-producing relationships. But this type of abiding friendship is sustained through listening because that is what friends do. 

Friends Make Time for Each Other 

Listening is another “spiritual discipline,” an intentional and repeated practice that deepens our friendship with Jesus. We have previously considered other spiritual disciplines: giving thanks, reading, and copying the Scriptures, meditating, journaling, and entering God’s presence through prayer. Spiritual disciplines are spiritual tools, the means and never the end. We must guard against making spiritual disciplines into spiritual laws and falling into the error of legalism. 

Spiritual disciplines require self-discipline. “Discipline” and “disciple” come from the same root word. One cannot be a disciple, an apprentice of Jesus, without exercising self-discipline. Spiritual disciplines do not cause God to love us more; they make us more aware of how deeply God already loves us. 

Let’s clarify some terms:

LEGALISM: noun: excessive adherence to law or formula. 
THEOLOGY: Dependence on moral law rather than on personal religious faith. 
"stress obedience apart from faith and you produce legalism" 
[Definitions from Oxford Languages]

Appointment with Jesus 

Alex Aronis taught us that the goal of having devotions is to increase our devotion to God: 

“The objective of devotions is not simply to read a Bible story or even to meditate on it, but to experience intimacy with the Father, with Jesus, and with the Holy Spirit. As we delight in the LORD, our devotion is deepened.” (Aronis, p. 7) 

“Devotions” refers to a time set aside to be with God. When I was introduced to this practice, the term used was “quiet time.” More recently, I have used the phrase “appointment with Jesus.” Whatever term is used to describe a meeting with the LORD, the goal is to meet with Jesus and give him our undivided attention—to abide in him and to let his words abide in us. Listening is an essential component of abiding. There is no rule in the Bible that requires a daily “appointment with God.” But the example of Jesus has guided disciples for twenty centuries. He regularly spent intentional time in the Father’s presence. 

In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.”
Mark 1:35 

Jesus spent private time with his Father, often early in the morning. He did not read the Scriptures because there were no personal Bibles then. The scriptures were written on large scrolls and kept in the synagogues. (He had probably memorized most of the O.T. Scriptures.) Jesus must have listened and sought to calibrate his life with the Father’s concerns. His private prayers helped him to stay on the Father’s wavelength. This was a relational process, not a mechanical one. Jesus listened to his Father’s heart so he could do his will. 

Jesus did this so well that he could declare, “whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise” (John 5:19). He also spoke the same words the Father spoke to him (John 14:24). Jesus aligned his heart, thoughts, actions, and words with the Father. Whether you call it devotions or an appointment with Jesus, it requires intensive listening. And if Jesus needed regular time with the Father to listen and to share, how much more do we need to schedule time in his presence? 

Jesus cannot become a genuine friend at heart level unless you spend time with him. First you develop your relationship with him by listening to him. As you learn to recognize his voice more clearly, you can calibrate your heart with his heart. Eventually, you may hear what he wants you to do, when he wants you to do it, and how he wants it done. But the friendship grows through spending time together (abiding). You may think you don’t have time for it, but friends of the heart make time for each other. Spending time with Jesus must become a priority for disciples. 

Personally, I usually carve out time in the morning for several reasons. First, Jesus frequently spent time with the Father early in the morning. Secondly, I am a morning person. I am at my best in the morning, and I always seek to give Jesus my best. And thirdly, the best time to calibrate with Jesus is at the beginning of the day, so you can keep in step with Jesus, through the Spirit, all day. I also listen better before I become absorbed in the details and busyness of the day. I usually sip a cup of coffee during my appointment with Jesus. It’s relaxing and something I enjoy doing when talking with friends. 

The fourth challenge is “Listening.” Throughout the Scriptures God tells us to listen, and authentic listening inevitably leads to obedience. God continues to speak in the present age, especially through the Scriptures. We listen to God’s voice by reading and meditating on the Scriptures. As we near the end of the fourth challenge, the continuing challenge for every disciple is to make listening to God a priority.

Appointments with Jesus – Helpful Hints 

• Schedule at least 15 minutes per appointment. 

• Try to schedule a time that you think has the best chance of working. Experiment with different times if the best time is not obvious to you. 

• If possible, schedule it for the same time every day. 

• Location: Pick a place where you can be alone with Jesus without external distractions. 

• Always bring your Bible, a pen, and journal with you. 

• Silence or turn off your electronic devices. 

• Take a few moments to release other matters from your mind and center yourself on being attentive to Jesus. 

• Remember the purpose is to build a relationship with Jesus, not amass Bible knowledge. Seek insights that cause you to love him more. Focus on Jesus, not yourself. 

• Begin by giving thanks and praise to enter God's presence. Invite God to reveal himself to you by giving you an attachment insight. And close the time by thanking him for being with you. 

• It is best to read from a gospel and perhaps one Psalm during each appointment. 

• Experiment with different ways of reading the Scriptures.

1. Copy the passage into your journal. 

2. Read the passage silently once and then read the same passage out loud. 

3. Use the method outlined in Part “C” seeking an attachment insight. Try different methods until you find the best one for you – the one that helps you hear God’s voice through the Scriptures. 

• Be attentive. Don’t hurry. Use your imagination. Imagine you are there, watching and listening. What are the facial expressions of others? Is Jesus smiling or frowning? What in the story draws you to Jesus? 

• Be sure to write any insight you receive in your journal, especially attachment insights. 

Problem Solving 

• Sometimes you will find it difficult to concentrate. Other unrelated thoughts will make it difficult to be attentive. When this happens, briefly jot down the distraction on a scrap of paper so you will not forget it. Do this as often as necessary. Then refocus on the Lord. 

• If something is not working, try something else. Be flexible. Don’t get down on yourself and don’t give up. When you become frustrated, ask the Lord for help. 

• Finding the right time for scheduling your appointment may be the most challenging issue. It may change depending on external factors – having a baby, new job, changing work schedule, and countless other factors. 

• If necessary, reduce your scheduled appointments to five minutes and try to do more than one each day. Any time in the Lord’s presence is better than no time with him. 

We all have an appointment with the Lord. One day we will come before him, our Lord, Friend, and Judge. If we have come to know him and have walked with him, we live in anticipation of that day. But if we do not know him, there will be apprehension. 

Scheduling and keeping appointments with God must be a priority or it will never happen. We order our lives around our priorities (the desires of our hearts). Your actions express your priorities; they reveal what really matters to you.

I once heard Vernon Grounds, the former President of Denver Theological Seminary, speak about spiritual disciplines. He closed his message with this thoughtful insight: 

“The ruts of [devotional] routines become the grooves of God’s grace.” 

The relational benefits of having regular appointments with God don’t become apparent until the appointments become a habit. That is true of all spiritual disciplines. But once the discipline becomes routine, a normal part of your life, you will discover that the ruts of your particular routines have been transformed into grooves or channels which carry God’s grace into your life. Spending intentional time with the Lord, will no longer feel like an obligation, but like a precious gift from God. Spending time with your best friend is a privilege.

THINKING IT THROUGH

"They have made God’s law their own, So they will never slip from his path." Psalm 37:31 

THE TRUTH: The Lord continues to speak in this day and age. 

THE CHALLENGE: Disciples must learn to discern and listen to God's voice. 

Each part of every four-part challenge concludes with a “Thinking it Through” segment which consists of a list of Scriptures related to the topic being considered, questions for group discussion and personal reflection, and notes. Each of the twelve challenges will end with an exercise to guide you through the process of naming lies, believing the truth, and clarifying the personal implications and applications of the truth to your life. Truth, if believed, must be lived, and living the truth brings personal transformation (Kingdom living). Please consider this section as a tool to help you to understand the truth, not as a test or as busy work. 

Related Scriptures 

Luke 4:42 ⁴² Early the next morning Jesus went out to an isolated place. The crowds searched everywhere for him, and when they finally found him, they begged him not to leave them. 

Luke 9:18 ¹⁸ One day Jesus left the crowds to pray alone. Only his disciples were with him…. 

Luke 5:15-16 ¹⁵ But despite Jesus’ instructions, the report of his power spread even faster, and vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. ¹⁶ But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. 

Proverbs 3:22 ²² Such wicked people are detestable to the Lord, but he offers his friendship to the godly. 

Luke 11:1 ¹ Once Jesus was in a certain place praying. As he finished, one of his disciples came to him and said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” 

Matthew 6:5-6 ⁵ “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. ⁶ But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.” 

Mark 1:35 ³⁵ In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.

Romans 5:10-11 ¹⁰ For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. ¹¹ So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. 

Matthew 11:19 ¹⁹ The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ But wisdom is shown to be right by its results. 

Isaiah 41:8 ⁸ “But as for you, Israel my servant, Jacob my chosen one, descended from Abraham my friend,” 

Exodus 33:11 ¹¹ Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.  

Questions 

You are encouraged to use these questions for group discussion or personal reflection. Respond to the questions that are most relevant or interesting to you (I urge you to write your responses in a journal or notebook). 

1. In Part B we remembered that comedian Lily Tomlin used to get laughs whenever she used this line: “Why is it when we talk to God, we call it prayer; but when he talks to us, we call it schizophrenia?” How would you respond to someone who said, “Anyone who claims to have heard God’s voice is schizophrenic?” 

2. If our priorities are revealed by how we spend our time, would your typical day indicate your friendship with Jesus is one of your personal priorities? 

3. What makes spending time with Jesus difficult for you? 

4. In the second challenge, Part B (“From Head to Heart”) we learned when we go all in, we become a child of God and receive the privilege of addressing him as “Abba” or Daddy. But without the help of the Holy Spirit, it seems impossible to exercise this privilege. Do you find referring to Jesus as your “friend” to be just as awkward and difficult? Why or why not?

5. Sociologists distinguish between “friends of the road” and “friends of the heart.” Does friendship with Jesus fall into either of these categories, both of them, or does friendship with Jesus transcend those categories in a way that makes them meaningless when describing your relationship with Jesus? 

6. This step began with the poignant story behind James Taylor’s song, "Fire and Rain," and Carole King’s song, “You’ve Got a Friend.” Taylor sang “I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend” and King responded with “all you’ve got to do is call – And I’ll be there.” Do you think of Jesus as a friend you can call on at any time and he will be there for you? 

7. Just hours before Jesus was crucified, he told his disciples “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me” (John 15:15). In the third challenge, Part C (“Gratitude not Entitlement”), we examined the Parable of the Prodigal Son.” We noted the oldest son told his father, “All these years I’ve slaved for you” (Luke 15:29). He related to his father as a slave to his master. Jesus told his disciples he considered them friends, not slaves. Do you find it easier to relate to Jesus as his slave or as his friend?

Notes 

Bible Translations 

We usually think of the Bible as a single volume, but that volume is a compilation of 66 distinct books. These holy writings were composed by different authors between Abraham (approximately 2000 B.C.) and the death of the Apostle John near the first century A.D. Yet they were God breathed—inspired by the Holy Spirit. They contain narrative, historical events, poetry, wisdom literature, prophecy, apocalyptic writings, songs, and letters. Each author addressed specific audiences and distinct issues, and each had their own style of writing. But the content of every book and passage expresses God’s truth in the words of the human author. All passages are not equally important, but they all are sacred writings. Originally, Scriptures were transmitted orally from generation to generation. Then ancient scribes, following strict rules that guarded the accuracy of the texts, copied the Scriptures onto scrolls. Archaeological discoveries, especially the Dead Sea Scrolls, have confirmed the accuracy of the oldest known manuscripts. 

The OT was written in ancient Hebrew script with a sprinkling of Aramaic. Our oldest manuscripts of the NT were written in koine Greek. But God’s Word (OT) had been translated into other languages centuries before the birth of Jesus. First, the Torah (first five book of the Bible) was translated into Aramaic (the language of the Assyrians and the Jews living in the Samaria) in 430 BC. A few centuries later, there were more Jews living in Egypt than in Judah and so the entire OT was translated into Greek (the international language of that period) so the Jews living in Egypt could read the Scriptures. This translation was accomplished between 240-150 BC and is called the Septuagint (abbreviated by the Roman Numerals LXX). 

In modern times, the entire Bible has been translated into over 736 different languages. The NT has been translated into 1,658 additional languages. More limited translations (key passages, Psalms, or specific books) have been completed in 1,264 other languages. Thus, at least some portion of Scripture has been translated into 3,658 different languages. The work of translating God’s written word continues to this day. Currently, Christian linguists are in the process of translating the Bible into 3,283 additional languages which are spoken in 167 countries. 

Around 1400 AD John Wycliffe completed the first (modern) English translation based on the Latin Vulgate. This predated the first printed Bible, the Gutenberg Bible (in German)in 1454. The Geneva Bible was translated under the leadership of John Calvin in 1560. This translation was the first English Bible to be organized around the chapter and verse method. The Geneva Bible came to America on the Mayflower with the Pilgrims. 

Perhaps the most famous English translation was the King James Bible in 1611. It was commissioned by King James VI of Scotland. This translation used the 25 letter English alphabet with no letter “J” (Jesus was Iesus). A few of the more recent English translations include The New International Version (NIV) in 1978, and The New King James Version (NKJV) in 1982. The goal of the NKJV was to update the vocabulary and grammar of the original Kings James Version (KJV) while preserving its distinctive style. The New Living Translation (NLT), the translation used in “The Jesus Way,” was completed in 1996, with an informal style that can be easily understood. 

There are an estimated 900 complete or partial translations of the Bible into English that can be divided into three categories listed below. Each example (in italics) includes their translation of Romans 12:2a.

WORD-FOR-WORD TRANSLATIONS: 

These translations aim for literal accuracy, attempting to convey the original words and phrases from the original languages into the English. Some examples: 

New American Standard Bible (NASB): Renowned for its literal approach. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…." 

King James Version (KJV): An older, but distinctive translation. "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind," 

THOUGHT-FOR-THOUGHT TRANSLATIONS: 

These focus on conveying the meaning and concepts of the original text rather than a strict word-for-word rendering. Some examples: 

English Standard Version (ESV): A popular and contemporary translation. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind….” 

New International Version (NIV): Widely read and respected. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

New Revised Standard Version (NRSV): An ecumenical translation. “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind….” 

New Living Translation (NLT): A dynamic functional translation. "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." 

PARAPHRASE TRANSLATIONS: 

These reflect the interpretations of the original text by the translator who seeks to capture the essence of the message by conveying it using contemporary language. Some examples: 

The Message: A well-known paraphrase by Eugene Peterson. “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” 

J. B. Phillips New Testament: Popular in the 1960’s. “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God re-mold your minds from within….” 

Bottom Line: Different pastors and scholars prefer different translations. Every translation has both strengths and weaknesses. There is no widespread consensus on which translation is best. Every disciple must choose a translation or a few translations that will serve them best, perhaps considering what their pastor or teacher recommends as well as other factors. Some keep a translation from each category, so when struggling to understand a passage they can consult various ways that passage has been translated.

Completing the Challenge

1. UNDERSTAND.

Prayerfully process (reflect, reread, discuss, question, write, and review your journal entries) until you understand the most important truth Jesus is teaching you in Challenge #4. To accomplish this, you may also need to re-read and reflect on the commentary on Parts A through D. You are welcome to consult your mentor, other disciples, and use other resources. But do not start question 2 (BELIEVE) until you have articulated the chief truth revealed to you in Challenge #4, Parts A through D by completing this sentence: “The chief truth revealed in this challenge is ... 

2. BELIEVE.

Embracing the truth requires you to “change your mind” by ceasing to believe one thing (a lie) in order to believe the truth. To follow Jesus means you must continually repent (literally: “change your mind”— your mental map of reality) to personally embrace the truth he embodied and taught. The goal is to internalize the truth in your heart until it becomes like DNA—at the core of your being. 

Write the thing you no longer believe (the lie) by completing this sentence, “I no longer believe... 

Rewrite the new truth (part 1 above) you now believe by completing this sentence, “I now believe... 

3. DO.

Jesus expects the truth you now believe to change the way you live. What you believe determines what you do and how you live. Commit to doing something differently (be specific) because of your new and/or deepening faith. Write it by finishing this sentence, “I believe Jesus is leading me to ... 

Then pray, asking the Lord to help you do whatever you have determined he is asking you to do. 

4. SHARE.

Finally, share in your small group, or tell your mentor or your study partner the specifics of how you completed this challenge (the sentences you have written above) and ask for feedback.

NOTE: It is best to write your statements at the end of each challenge in a journal/notebook. If you get stuck on this last exercise, skip it for the time being, and complete it at a later date. As you make progress on the Jesus Way, you may want to modify and improve these concluding statements. Feel free to do so at any time. Whenever you receive new insights, it may change what you have previously written. Your journal/notebook is intended to document your growing faith. It may become a useful tool to both help you, and to mentor others.

Copyright © 2024 Don Waite

All rights reserved.

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