The Power of Words

Holiness requires that we “dare to be different.” We march to a different drummer by keeping in step with the Spirit. Being different, however, is never the goal. Our goal is to continually grow and become increasingly like Christ Jesus. The more we become like Jesus, the more we reflect his holiness and the more we show we are set apart by and for God. It begins inwardly, as the Lord reshapes our character and attitudes (Challenge 5, Cross Training).

The premise that undergirds all of Challenge 7 (“Dare to be Different”) is we grow increasingly like Jesus by living our entire lives before an audience of One (Part A). Not needing the approval of others, we aim to please Jesus above all else. This does not mean that we hide or privatize our faith. We allow people to see Jesus in us as we live transparent lives (Part B, Life in a Fishbowl). Both our character and our actions set us apart from the crowd.

Part “C” of “Dare to be Different” focuses on the words we speak. Disciples of Jesus guard our words. We seek to speak the truth, never using words to belittle or injure other people. Jesus said, “… the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life” (John 6:63). Naturally, we follow his example, speaking words of life, words that build up and enhance the lives of others.

Words have tremendous power to either enrich or diminish life. Words are like a baseball bat; they can slam home runs or slam people. Moreover, once spoken, words are like toothpaste squeezed from the tube; we cannot take them back. Words can be evil, hurtful, hate-filled, careless, and cruel. They can express lies, threats, or curses. Evil words function like toxins released into another person’s psyche. This verbal poison infects both individuals and social networks—families, schools, companies, and churches. Words can be deadly weapons.

Yet words can also convey genuine love. Words can communicate truth and generate hope. Words bring light, understanding, and beauty to dark places. Words can build up and encourage. Words can generate joy and bring healing. Words can nourish faith. Words make promises and have power to bond people together in loving and lasting relationships. Words can bring life.

The prologue to John’s gospel declares Jesus to be the living Word (Logos) of God (1:1) who “became flesh.” He “came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (1:14). Jesus, as the Living Word, reveals (communicates) God to the world. Not surprisingly, words are of immense importance in the Bible, which is the written Word of God. Words matter; they have eternal significance. If we are serious about living before an audience of One, we must be attentive to the way we use words. 

Words Reveal Our Hearts

Our speech, like every part of our lives, must come under the Lordship of Jesus. He hears every word we speak.

¹⁰ Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand. ¹¹ It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

¹⁵ Then Peter said to Jesus, “Explain to us the parable that says people aren’t defiled by what they eat.”

¹⁶ “Don’t you understand yet?” Jesus asked. ¹⁷ “Anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. ¹⁸ But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. ¹⁹ For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. ²⁰ These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.”
Matthew 15:10-11, 15-20

Jeremiah described the human heart as being “the most deceitful of all things” (Jer 17:9). Disciples have received new hearts, but sometimes the remnants of the old heart resurface. How do we know when that is happening? We simply listen to the words we speak to others because those words reveal the condition of our hearts. Our words tell us whether or not our hearts are pure. This is important because Jesus promised, “God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God” (Matt 5:8).

The Bible, in both the OT and NT, often talks about the words we speak. Remember that two of the Ten Commandments (20%) are about words; we are not to “misuse the name of the LORD your God (Third Commandment, Ex 20:7) and not “testify falsely against your neighbor” (Ninth Commandment, Ex 20:16). The book of Proverbs abounds with insights on how to use words wisely. Wise people use words constructively, but fools misuse words. Disciples need to understand and embrace what the Scriptures say on this topic, take it to heart, and then, with the Spirit’s help, make the necessary adjustments in what we say.

During my junior year of college, I tried to clean up my language simply because I thought an educated person should be able to express themselves without cursing or using crude language. But I failed miserably. Habits, especially bad habits, are difficult to change. Yet a year later, after I had gone all-in for Jesus, I was pleasantly surprised one day to realize I no longer had a foul mouth. The change had occurred with no conscious effort on my part. In retrospect, I believe the changes in my speech were the natural consequences of receiving a new heart.

Read the biblical descriptions of how Jesus used words and consider what they reveal about Jesus’ heart. 

²² Everyone…was amazed by the gracious words that came from his [Jesus’] lips.
Luke 4:22

³⁶ Amazed, the people exclaimed, “What authority and power this man’s words possess! Even the spirits obey him and flee at his command!” 
Luke 4:36

⁶³ᵇ “… the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.”
⁶⁸ Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.”
John 6:63b, 68

Jesus modeled what he taught, and his disciples followed his example.

²⁷ Peter’s words pierced their hearts….
Acts 2:27

¹³ “… we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths.”
1 Corinthians 2:13 

What you say in private, or in public is not a petty matter. Your spoken words always matter because your words can defile you (Matt 15:11). You are accountable for every word that leaves your mouth. Jesus takes this matter very seriously and so should you.

³⁶ “And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. ³⁷ The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.”
Matthew 12:36-37

Remember, Jesus hears every word you speak. And each word, in one way or another, expresses your heart. The judgment Jesus speaks of is not the judgment of whether one goes to heaven or hell (that is decided when you go “all-in” for Jesus), but Jesus’ review of your life to determine what special rewards (beyond eternal life in heaven) you will receive. This refers to the “believer’s judgment.” God will review your words, actions, and motivations at that time.

Small Talk Is a Big Deal

(This section relies on a Reflection written by Glenn McDonald on June 8, 2022. glennsreflections.com)

A couple of decades ago, a prestigious law firm in New York City faced a crisis. Their annual staff turnover had risen to an alarming 30%. Their failure to retain mid-level associates jeopardized their future. Their problem became public when the journal American Lawyer published its review of mid-level associates at 163 leading firms. This firm ranked almost dead last on the list. The publicity intensified their crisis.

The problem had to be acknowledged and addressed. The senior partners decided to introduce two new words into the culture of their firm: “please” and “thank-you.” Those senior partners, when hurrying through the office on the way to their next “oh-so” important meeting, began to slow down and even stop to talk with their junior associates. They said hello in elevators and intentionally expressed gratitude for the contributions their associates made to the firm. They politely asked if associates would work into the evening hours when needed instead of ordering them to do so.

These simple changes began to mend the hard feelings. The American Lawyer ranked them first among all the major NYC law firms the following year. They went from almost last to first in one year and it did not cost them a cent. They changed the firm’s culture by introducing and communicating two simple words, “please” and “thank you.” 

Glenn went on to report of the results of a study by Stanford University professor, Dr. Thomas Harrell, in which he tracked a group of MBAs for years after their graduation. The grades of the graduates barely factored into their success or failure. The true predictor of success was their ability and willingness to enter conversation with others. Small talk matters in a big way. 

The apostle Paul appears to have understood this. He wrote, “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive  so that you will have the right response for everyone” (Col 4:6). Often small things matter the most, taking the time to greet people, handshakes, smiles, giving them your full attention, saying their name, looking them in the eye and saying “please” and “thank-you.” Helping someone have a better day is not difficult, simply pay attention to them and speak to them. Small talk, when sincere, brings big results because it communicates your care.

Do’s and Don’ts

• Do speak the truth in love.
  Don’t use words to deceive, manipulate, or flatter others.

• Do speak in ways that are gentle, gracious, and kind.
  Don’t use coarse or hateful language.

• Do encourage others with your words.
  Don’t belittle others with your words.

• Do praise God with your words privately and publicly.
  Don’t misuse God’s name.

• Do tell the truth.
  Don’t verbally beat people up with the truth.

• Do speak directly with those who have offended or harmed you.
  Don’t triangulate.

• Do think before you speak.
  Don’t speak carelessly.

• Do encourage others with your words.
  Don’t engage in verbal attacks, character assassination, or gossip.

• Do speak words of kindness.
  Don’t stir up arguments with your words.

• Do speak the truth with gentleness, especially when discussing controversial topics.
  Don’t verbally assault those you disagree with.

• Do control your tongue at all times.
  Don’t say anything that you may regret later.

THINKING IT THROUGH

“Guard you heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23

THE TRUTH: Jesus’ character made him different and holy. 

THE CHALLENGE: Disciples dare to be different in order to live into Christ-like holiness.

The Related Scriptures, Questions, and Notes are for both group discussion and personal reflection. Our goal in Tier II is character transformation which requires sustained effort and growing faith. Thinking through the questions can help you understand this challenge at a deeper level. We encourage you to focus on those questions that you find most interesting or helpful. This is not a test, but a tool to help you respond to the challenges.

Related Scriptures

Proverbs 13:3 ³ Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
opening your mouth can ruin everything.

Proverbs 15:4 ⁴ Gentle words are a tree of life; 
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 18:21 ²¹ The tongue can bring death or life; 
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

Jeremiah 9:8 ⁸ For their tongues shoot lies like poisoned arrows. 
They speak friendly words to their neighbors 
while scheming in their heart to kill them.

Proverbs 10:31-32 ³¹ The mouth of the godly person gives wise advice, 
but the tongue that deceives will be cut off.
³² The lips of the godly speak helpful words, 
but the mouth of the wicked speaks perverse words.

Proverbs 15:28 ²⁸ The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; 
the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

Romans 16:8 ⁸ By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people.

1 Corinthians 2:4 ⁴ And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Proverbs 26:20 ²⁰ Fire goes out without wood, 
and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Romans 3:14 ¹⁴ Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.

Ephesians 4:25, 29, 31-32

²⁵ So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.
²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

2 Timothy 16 ¹⁶ Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior.

Psalm 10:7 ⁷ Their [the wicked] mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats. 
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues.

Psalm 64:3 ³ They sharpen their tongues like swords 
and aim their bitter words like arrows.

Psalm 78:36 ³⁶ But all they gave him was lip service; 
they lied to him with their tongues.

James 1:26 ²⁶ If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

1 Peter 2:1 ¹ Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.

James 3:5 ⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

Romans 10:9-10 ⁹ If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.

Roman 10:15b (quoting Isaiah 52:7) ¹⁵ᵇ “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”

Questions

You are encouraged to use these questions for group discussion or personal reflection. Respond to the questions that are most relevant or interesting to you (I urge you to write your responses in a journal or notebook).

1. Review the words you have spoken in the last few days. Based solely on your spoken words, describe the condition of your heart.

2. In what type of situations are you most likely to speak toxic words?

3. Explain how your speech can be both gentle and gracious when discussing a controversial topic with someone who may disagree with you. 

4. What impresses you the most about the ways Jesus used words to communicate with his followers or his enemies?

5. Review the “Small Talk is a Big Deal” section in the commentary. Describe a place or a situation that you think more small talk would be helpful or inappropriate.

6. Make a list of people you intentionally and consistently seek to encourage.

7. People with anger issues often blow up and say things they end up regretting. Is this a problem for you? Why and when? What sort of things do you say when you are angry?

8. Do you often repeat an inappropriate word, phrase, or pattern of speech to fit in instead of speaking in a way that stands out from the crowd? 

9. Do you tell lies, use flattery, or speak other insincere words in a manipulative way in order to get your own way or to win the approval of others? Can you twist innocent sounding words into a toxic message? 

10. The commentary focused on the content and intent of words you speak, but “how” you speak them is also vitally important to communication that enhances life. There are non-verbal factors (i.e., body language, spacing between people) or verbal factors (i.e., tone, volume) which help or hinder the words being spoken. What signals do you look for, beyond the actual words, to help you interpret the message directed to you?

11. The law firm mentioned in the “Small Talk Is a Big Deal” section, made a minor change that produced amazing results. What is one change you can make in your normal pattern of speech that would bless and improve the lives of others?

Copyright © 2024 Don Waite

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